A Sneak Preview of Pet Psychic Diaries Two.  From my chapter The Light Side:

 The Light Side

What do you get when you talk to pets who are not only honest, but also operate on a toddler level? Laughter.   Enjoy these reading excerpts that have forced me to consider installing a seat belt on my chair.

Pip, a sweet little pug entered my sacred space, tail wagging, all excited to chat.  Then he started barking like mad….and barking, and barking. I didn’t know what was going on, and then it hit me.  So I gently told him that in order to understand him, he would have to use human language.  He said, “Oh. Sorry.” 

 A rare breed cat named Nick solved a puzzle that has probably plagued mankind since cats were first domesticated.  Why do they understand commands like Come, Get down, No” one day and seem to have memory loss the next?

Nick said, “Tell my mom that I understand her more than she thinks.  I just pretend not to sometimes so I don’t have to do something I don’t want to do.”

Showing his sweet side, Nick also said, “Someone said I cost a lot, but mom always says I’m worth it.  Please tell her thank you for that.  I bet she cost a lot too.”

Some pets will just answer questions they are asked.  And some just love to chatter and tell you everything on their mind.  Enjoy these gems from Squiggles, an adorable little pug.  He had a high, child-like voice and spoke very fast.

“I always want to be the baby, so I hope my family doesn’t ever get anyone cuter than me.”

“People make a big fuss over me.  Is my face pushed in?  Someone said I had a pushed in face.  Is that bad?  Mama says I’m beautiful so I don’t care what anyone else says anyway!”

“Cats are strange creatures.  But if I was a cat, I would be a lap-cat.”

I don’t want a bandana around my neck, but all other clothes are great.  And I will look very cute in everything.”

“I wish I could catch some of those birds outside.  They are fast!”

A very young Boxer mix named Rockie also had much to say.  Her mom was having trouble with housebreaking and asked me to speak to her about this.

“My family goes potty in the house, so I don’t know why I’m not supposed to!” 

“If we get another pet, please don’t let it be a cat.  They are weird.”

“I like to take my family for walks.  We have lots of fun.”

Some have few words to say.  When asked if he would enjoy going back to obedience school, little Grady said, “No. Not really.”

People often ask me if animals lie.  They don’t often lie to me in a reading unless they are trying to get out of going to the vet.  But I can usually tell if they are,  as they look very guilty.  Now, do they lie to each other?  Meet Jester and Gabby, two cats who share a home.  Their loving mom had just bought them a brand new cat condo, but only Gabby would play on it.  Jester hardly ever did.  He also avoided their bed and office when Gabby was there.  They always got along so well, that their family was confused over this behavior.

I spoke to Jester and asked why he didn’t play on the nice new cat condo.  He said, “The cat condo is Gabby’s.  She lets me play on it sometimes though.”  I explained to Jester that the condo was bought for both of them.  He seemed shocked and said, “Oh. I’m glad to know it is mine too.” 

Before we parted, Jester said, “I like Gabby. She can be fun, but she lied to me about the condo. She said it was hers and she just lets me play with it sometimes. Does this mean that everything else in the house she says is hers, is really mine too?”

Apparently, Gabby had also told Jester, the bed and office were hers as well.  I spoke to her next and explained that she was going to have to share from now on.  She said, “Do you think they would buy two cat condos?”

Before we parted, she said, “Thank my mom for telling me how beautiful I am all the time.  It makes me feel special.  She tells Jasper he is pretty too, but I know that she really thinks I’m the prettiest.”

Sarah was a lovely cat who had to be put on a special diet for her health.  We talked a little and as she was leaving, I asked if there was anything she wanted.  There was.  She said, “Please ask my mom to get rid of that lousy food!”